In the most recent installment of the Mormon Stories Podcast, and in part one of a series on the Spirituality of the rising LDS generation, John Dehlin interviews John Kovalenko, a musician, a current BYU student majoring in Violin Performance, and church believer. John also discusses same-sex attraction as a young, believing Mormon and BYU student.
NOTE: A link to the audio of this interview has been added to the North Star website to the News & Society Podcasts & Radio Interviews page, and the embedded video has been added to the Library Videos & Documentaries page.
Ty Mansfield is a practicing marriage and family therapist and currently lives with his wife and son in Texas doing doctoral work in family therapy. He enjoys playing racquetball, participating in triathlons, eating Thai food, and thinks that the greatest technological advancement of the 21st century was the invention of the iPhone (he might even be a little obsessed with it).
Ty is a co-author with Fred and Marilyn Matis of In Quiet Desperation and later compiled an anthology of devotional articles by gospel scholars and personal essays by individuals who experience same-sex attraction, title Voices of Hope. More recently, he and his wife, Danielle, wrote a cover story for the May/June 2012 issue of LDS Living magazine.
Some of the topics currently on Ty's mind (and which will likely be the topic of his posts) include same-sex emotional intimacy and friendship, intersections of Eastern thought and sexuality, and the dynamics of marriage when one partner experiences same-sex attraction.
I thought the part toward the end where he says he believes that personal revelation trumps ecclesiastical revelation was sort of interesting. That’s the way the issues seem to boil down quite frequently these days for a lot of church members who don’t like where the church is at in regard to homosexuality.
I liked the way he talked about our “inalienable” right to commune with the divine as children of God. I think that’s a beautiful notion.
John K speaks here about the Church welcoming everyone across the spectrum of SGA behavior. As he speaks of this I get a vision of moving to a place where there is a community of those who not only talk to each other anonymously on blogs but of a time when there is more open communication and acceptance of those with SGA and those within the Church who are welcoming to those with SGA. I feel that this may take the form soon of those like John K who are more open about their feelings helping identify some wards and stakes where those with SGA and those who wish to help welcome those with SGA can attend some church functions together. I know several now who wish to begin moving in this direction. I hope to find others who want to be a part of this. As he says here, those who don’t abide by Church standards have to be given a place at the table, even though they cannot necessarily enjoy every Church blessing.
I was mesmerized by his comfort and assurance of himself. He was so articulate and confident in his self-awareness of who he was. I only wish that I were so self-aware, self-confident and articulate when I was a BYU student. Maybe this rising generation has it in them to shine forth. I find it overall very inspirational and hopeful for the future of the Church. I couldn’t even imagine such an interview with a BYU student when I was in school 25 years ago!
A lovely interview. I was particularly moved by his statements about the potential for the Church to learn about love from gay folks — if it will open itself to them. Beautiful.
I think the ideal of acceptance and inclusion of those with SGA will be a long time in coming. For instance I was happy when the Mormon “role model” Mitt Romney was more accepting of gays while campaigning in Mass. and early in his term as governor. But now he is the lap dog of right wing establishment on not just the gay issue but others as well such as stem-cell research. I know that he is “just trying to get Republican votes” but his attitudes reflect on the Church and me as a member.
I wish there were many more like Brother Kovalenko who are driven by an inner compassionate compass. I salute Sunstone for starting this series.
Northern Lights is the official community blog of North Star International. It was created by several established bloggers who are believing members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and who have first-hand experience with issues surrounding homosexuality. Northern Lights is to be a place where we and our readers can openly explore and discuss topics and issues of interest to the LDS community—and particularly as they relate to homosexuality and Mormon faith and culture—in an edifying and uplifting manner and within the framework of commitment to the beliefs and ideals of the Church.
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“Because She Is a Mother” — A Mother’s Day Playlist
"She broke the bread into two fragments and gave them to her children, who ate with eagerness. 'She hath kept none for herself,' grumbled the sergeant.
"'Because she is not hungry,' said a soldier.
"'No,' said the sergeant, 'because she is a mother.'"
In March 2013, we launched a new site, LDSVoicesofHope.org, which features video and written essays by Latter-day Saints who have found peace and hope in the gospel of Jesus Christ—with an ongoing release of additional testimonials.
New video explaining what Mormons believe about homosexuality
New video addressing 12 common myths and misconceptions about what the Church teaches about homosexuality
AMCAP/FAR Conference addressing Homosexuality now online
On November 17, 2013, the Association of Mormon Counselors and Psychotherapists (AMCAP) and the Foundation for Attraction Research (FAR) co-sponsored a special conference exploring the Latter-day Saint experience with same-sex attraction: "Same-Sex Attraction: Reconciling Faith and Feelings".
New Church Website on Same-Sex Attraction Offers Love, Understanding and Hope: MormonsandGays.org
In an effort to encourage understanding and civil conversation about same-sex attraction, the Church has launched the website "Love One Another: A Discussion on Same-Sex Attraction." It features a number of videos from people who share real experiences from their own perspectives on a sensitive and sometimes emotionally charged topic.
Disclaimer: North Star is not owned by or affiliated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and site content should not be interpreted as official statements of Church doctrine, belief, or practice. While North Star wholly supports the doctrines and values of the Church of Jesus Christ, all views expressed or errors made are the sole responsibility of site contributors.
Thanks for posting this.
I thought the part toward the end where he says he believes that personal revelation trumps ecclesiastical revelation was sort of interesting. That’s the way the issues seem to boil down quite frequently these days for a lot of church members who don’t like where the church is at in regard to homosexuality.
I liked the way he talked about our “inalienable” right to commune with the divine as children of God. I think that’s a beautiful notion.
John K speaks here about the Church welcoming everyone across the spectrum of SGA behavior. As he speaks of this I get a vision of moving to a place where there is a community of those who not only talk to each other anonymously on blogs but of a time when there is more open communication and acceptance of those with SGA and those within the Church who are welcoming to those with SGA. I feel that this may take the form soon of those like John K who are more open about their feelings helping identify some wards and stakes where those with SGA and those who wish to help welcome those with SGA can attend some church functions together. I know several now who wish to begin moving in this direction. I hope to find others who want to be a part of this. As he says here, those who don’t abide by Church standards have to be given a place at the table, even though they cannot necessarily enjoy every Church blessing.
I was mesmerized by his comfort and assurance of himself. He was so articulate and confident in his self-awareness of who he was. I only wish that I were so self-aware, self-confident and articulate when I was a BYU student. Maybe this rising generation has it in them to shine forth. I find it overall very inspirational and hopeful for the future of the Church. I couldn’t even imagine such an interview with a BYU student when I was in school 25 years ago!
so naive, hopeful, honest; it’s refreshing but i worry for him. good luck john
A lovely interview. I was particularly moved by his statements about the potential for the Church to learn about love from gay folks — if it will open itself to them. Beautiful.
Santorio,
I am curious. Why do worry for him? He seems like a guy who pretty much has it all together. I was quite impressed.
Socal
I think the ideal of acceptance and inclusion of those with SGA will be a long time in coming. For instance I was happy when the Mormon “role model” Mitt Romney was more accepting of gays while campaigning in Mass. and early in his term as governor. But now he is the lap dog of right wing establishment on not just the gay issue but others as well such as stem-cell research. I know that he is “just trying to get Republican votes” but his attitudes reflect on the Church and me as a member.
I wish there were many more like Brother Kovalenko who are driven by an inner compassionate compass. I salute Sunstone for starting this series.