Beck’s latest two posts have inspired me to get around to posting something that’s been forming in the back of my mind for a while. Over the last few years I have come to realize that most of the change I’m ever going to effect in my life is going to happen in a small arena. I used to be pretty idealistic and I wanted to “change the world”. The world, however, is a pretty big place. It will only change gradually, and it might just be better to focus on things that are a little more manageable. It’s also easier to see the small, local changes and rejoice in them. So, while “the Church” may or may not be amenable to homosexual members, I’m heartened to notice attitudes changing in many areas.
Like Beck, I was nervous about the law of chastity lesson. After reading through it, I found it hyperbolic and a little too black-and-white, doom-and-gloom for my taste. I was actually attending a ward in the town of Pahoa, Hawaii when I had the chance to experience this lesson. The teacher was inexperienced and nervous; her idea of teaching was simply to stand and read through the quotes in the lesson while we listened. After she rattled off the quote about homosexuality, she paused for breath. At that point an older lady in the back of the room raised her hand: “Excuse me, but I just wanted to say something. Actually the Church has changed since that quote was written. There are homosexual members of the church and they are welcome as long as they don’t have sex. They are no longer expected or encouraged to marry and many of them can’t change their attractions.” (I’m paraphrasing here, but that was more or less what she said). I wanted to talk to her after the meeting, but I ended up leaving a bit early because my child was running free on the lawn outside. No one commented on what this woman said, not even the teacher, but I hope it at least encouraged people to think a little more about the issue. I was also impressed by her bravery and willingness to speak up. I’m not usually that brave.
Besides the fact that change can also happen on an individual level, I’ve also realized that we have to be specific when we talk about things. I think it’s great to talk about tolerance or loving others, but I think we need to address specific situations as well. Do we simply talk theoretically about love and forgiveness, or do we apply them to common problems in our families and wards? I wanted to link to this post by Ana where she talks about a FHE lesson her family had on loving those who are gay. I love this idea and I am going to use it when our children are older. Youth need straight talk on love and tolerance.
So, here are several good examples of ways to raise our voices and teach tolerance. What have you seen?
I’m blessed to have found, and then been given, a web site devoted to helping SSA people. A lot of us SSA folks are really ignorant about our own place in the Kingdom, so there’s a lot of educational opportunity among our own.
As for the straight world, a few things come to mind.
1.) Educate your leaders – I’ve educated two Bishops and a High Counselor so far. You get a lot of mileage by educating leaders.
2.) Fish for opportunities – Every couple of months I Goolge topics related to SSA and then join in any on-line conversations I happen to find. A lot of them are straight people without a clue, and I’ve had some positive (and some heated!) discussions using this technique.
3. ) Jump on the golden opportunities – You never know when one will pop up. Here’s a good example from a sister on my web site:
Having a GA stand up in General Conference or write an Ensign article may seem like the best way to get the word out, but I think the little opportunities we take to reach out to individuals are just as important. After all, how many people do you know who sleep through Conference!?
I’m out in my ward and in my stake… not out-n-proud, just, I dunno… out. It’s just not a secret. I don’t talk about it in Sunday School, or over the pulpit during fast and testimony meeting ? church isn’t about me, it’s about the Savior, and if I talked about being gay I would make Church about me. And that’s not cool.
I’ve not noticed a change in the way people treat me… and that’s a good thing.
Another thing that’s been happening, is the proliferation of stories about gay, church-going Mormons in the local media… for example one of the people in this front-page story in the Provo Daily Herald is an active and faithful member of the church.
From that Provo Daily Herald article:
Very interesting…
…ug!
Why not? I know a guy who came back to the Church after a several-year hiatus, which includes both monogamous and promiscuous periods, his leaders knowing all the details, and the first calling he was given—once he felt ready to fully commit himself—was in the Primary. He feels it was the most inspired calling he could have been given to help him reintegrate… kids don’t judge. It wasn’t too long before he was called to serve as the Stake Young Men’s President… again, with everyone knowing about his past lifestyle and current attractions.
I suppose the guy from the article could be wrong. If so, where ever could he have come up with such a thought?
Well, it wouldn’t be the first time someone over-stated a rumor. There are plenty of cases of injustices out there without perpetuating “policies” that aren’t policies.
I have a calling with the youth, and my current and former Bishops are aware of my SSA; so that is a comlete fallacy. If a Bishop ever told me I couldn’t hold a calling with the youth or primary just because I was SSA I would leave that Ward.
I know men who are in Bishoprics, Stake Presidencies, and High Councils who are SSA. There are no “rules” about SSA members and callings. I don’t know where people would get that notion unless its coming from one of those darned outdated pamphlets! :(
I just finished reading Elder Holland’s talk in the October Ensign. It was passed out in the ecclesiastical session at the Evergreen conference today. It is very good. On the subject of Church service by someone who went to him to describe his SGA feelings, Elder Holland says…
“If your life is in harmony with the commandments, then you are worthy to serve in the Church, enjoy full fellowship with the members, attend the temple, and receive all the blessings of the Savior’s Atonement.” p. 42
Later in the article he says…
“When our actions or words discourage someone from taking full advantage of Church membership, we fail them–and the Lord.” p. 45
Hey guys.
Um… actually, the “never be called to serve with the young men of the church or Primary children” comment was taken a little out of context. What I remember saying was that I don’t expect to be called (there are often plenty of candidates, why call the one that would be more difficult given lingering prejudices?), and that were I called, I’d likely decline ? I can’t imagine putting myself in a position where my whole life could be destroyed by one kid with an axe to grind and an adult willing to believe that all homosexuals are pedophiles. There are myriad ways to serve in the Kingdom, and avoiding pitfalls just seems prudent… though I’m willing to accept that “prudent” looks a lot like “cowardly”.
Welcome to Northern Lights, DCH. We hope you enjoy your stay. :)
Thanks, playasinmar.
Um… what does your name mean?
: )