So this is kind of linked to the comment that I added to Borealis’s post, so if you may want to go there first, then come back to this… I also have a very rambling form of writing so I hope it all makes sense in the end.
It is an interesting thing to be married. I will admit that only having been at it 4 days short of two years, I know I don’t have a ton to go on, but I feel like I have a basic grasp on how things should work. My husband and I have had mostly ups with a few downs over the course of those two years, but the last few months have been a little stressful as he is in school, I teach and have taken on some extra projects, I had surgery (minor, no worries), and then we moved, to top it all off.
Things have gone a little bit back to normal, but my other projects are still taking up time that I wish I could apply elsewhere. And my husband still has to work nights and still deserves/needs time with the guys, and I still need time to get my things done, and so life goes… Then today was just a day from you know where! Being a woman has its ups and down, with PMS definitely being a down. I don’t have bad symptoms very often, but today they hit me. And they were expressed in the form of crying. I am usually fairly stable, emotionally, so this really threw me for a loop. I tried to pray, I tried to blog, I tried to be more calm with my kids, but nothing helped. It took me a bit to realize that I NEED my husband.
As I mentioned, my husband works two night shifts a week, so our schedules really conflict and we don’t really get to see each other for those two days. And then last night (his first night off), he had planned to go watch a movie with the guys, which I usually am, and was last night too, fine with. I did ask that he be home for dinner, which he was, and then we ran an errand together and we enjoyed the hour we had to spend together. But as I got to thinking today, I realized that he has his group tonight (so won’t be home until after 10 or 11, most likely), I have plans for tomorrow (a much-needed girls’ night) and he has plans for tomorrow (a regular guys’ night), so we won’t really get to spend much time together, still, until we go to celebrate our anniversary on Saturday (we can’t wait).
I really feel like I am rambling now, but the story is almost done, I promise. So my husband called after work today and patiently listened as I told him about my awful day and cried (through the phone) on his shoulder. As I cried, I reassured him that I was really fine, it was just hormonal emotions. I wasn’t upset with him in any way and I didn’t resent the fact that he hung out with his friends and brother until late last night. BUT, I did tell him that I MISSED him. I wished that I could have done it without crying, as I didn’t want to use emotional blackmail as the reason that he would do what I asked, but as it was, I again tried to re-assure him that HE was fine in my eyes, IT WAS JUST ME.
Idid ask if he could try to be home a little earlier than usual from his group. He told me he would try, as he realized MY needs, and his own, as he expressed that he missed me too. That just made me cry even more, but it felt good.
To sum it all up, it is good to know, for both of us, that we can have a normal marriage, and even feel emotions, but not have it have anything to do with SSA. It is just LIFE! So now we realize that we need to tweak a few things to see each other a little more, but that just shows that we love each other, right! And I DO love my husband.