Feeling sad. (Link to source.)
When we don’t like the way we feel, what do we do: try to change others or decide to change ourselves?
Like many who have been attending LDS Sunday School classes this year, I have recently been pondering the events presented in the books of Alma and Helaman. These books of scripture are especially well-known for their description of wars. For the last several weeks, I have been pondering the cause of these wars.
It seems to me that Amalikiah (Alma 46), Ammoron (Alma 52), and others like them were generally unhappy about their lot in life. They felt cheated by the world, and they dealt with their frustration by attempting to make others feel worse than they did. Rather than addressing their disappointment, they sought to stir up trouble. Often, they didn’t even attack their perceived enemies directly; instead they spread lies and rumors among the Lamanites to incite the Lamanites to anger and violence towards the Nephites.
Contrast this with Alma and Moroni who, instead of stirring up contention and anger among the masses, sought to stir up feelings of humility, duty, and love among the people. Amalikiah and Ammoron were agents of destruction and chaos whereas Alma and Moroni were agents of peace and stability. Amalikiah and Ammoron selfishly demand that society change in order for them to feel better. Alma and Moroni invite individuals to selflessly change so that society will be better.
As I look at leaders in my community and in society today, I’ve started to analyze their approach. Do they blame others for their faults? Do they expect others to fit their own selfish expectations? Or do they acknowledge their own weaknesses, make a commitment to change, and invite others to work together with them?
I’ve also thought about this mindset in regards to homosexuality. Those who experience same-sex attraction often feel marginalized by society. They feel mistreated and unfairly judged by society. How do they respond? Do they take the Amalikiah approach and incite anger, violence, and outrage? Or do they take the Alma approach and seek wisdom, understanding, and unity? Sometimes it seems that gay rights advocates, motivated by self-righteous anger, only seem to further drive a wedge between them and their perceived enemies. I can’t help by wonder whether this approach actually brings feelings of peace to anyone. Forcing the world to change in order to feel better about oneself is unlikely to be successful.
I’ve decided to use the Alma-Amalikiah test as as my barometer. When I feel jilted or abused, how do I respond? Yes, I too want the world to change, but that change starts with me.
I agree with this completely. Especially the part about gay rights activists. I feel that in their anger they miss out on a lot of love and the ability to change and live a happy life. Thanks for the post.
The greatest sadness I feel about the gay rights movement as a whole is that it seem intent on dividing people into groups (based on perceptions of hate and intolerance) instead of trying to find common ground and understanding. I am grateful that this does not characterize all groups and individuals who seek to increase awareness of gay issues.
I’m taking a lesson from Capt. Moroni, building breastworks of timbers (blocks on pornographic sites) , digging ditches (severing connections with those encouraged my sins), and preparing places for retreat (healthy relationships, service, memorizing scriptures). And, as Moroni, immersing myself in the activities that invite the spirit into my life (prayer, scripture study, church, etc.).
There is a battle going on, but I can enjoy the safety and security of my fortress and be at peace within its walls as long as I am vigilant, not letting any enemy get past the defenses and attack me where I’m not expecting it. Zarahemla fell because there was strife at the center of the land. I must keep my “center” strong–my faith and trust in the Lord, my core testimony of God, of the atonement, and of my own potential for exaltation.
Admittedly, I feel a stronger connection with Alma’s approach than with Moroni’s. In my experience, LDS culture seems to love the do-no-wrong, bold and unapologetic attitude associated with the story of Captain Moroni. I’ve had to humble myself in order to find value in the way his story is presented in Sunday School and other LDS discussions. But I agree that it’s important to take a hard look at our attitude and habits, and if anything is out of line with the Lord’s path for us, we need to recognize it lest we veer off course.