One of the shifts that I’m most pleased to see (and to be a part of) is the increase of voices of those who understand the experience of homosexual attraction firsthand who are both speaking up in the cultural conversation around sexuality and embracing and sharing their faith in the restored gospel of Christ.

The Role of North Star in Empowering Individuals

The mission of North Star has always been to be a place of community and support primarily for those who desire to live within the framework of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. In 2006, when the website of the newly organized North Star launched with a few online discussion groups and a community blog, our desire was to heal and lift and empower individuals as they sought resolution around these issues—and to create our own resources where there weren’t any.

It wasn’t long before a group of women in the Spouses group decided that they wanted to create a healing retreat for themselves where they could share stories, develop a sisterhood and learn how to become more whole and healthy as individuals so they could have whole and healthy marriages. The fruit of that effort, the Women of Worth Conference, was first held in the spring of 2007, was a huge success and has continued to grow every year with the women wrapping up their sixth annual conference just a few weeks ago (hear more about it on this month’s podcast episode).

As the membership in our discussion groups continued to grow, there also grew demand for new and more specialized groups to meet the specific needs and common interests of those coming to North Star looking for resources and emotional and spiritual support. We’ve expanded our support onto Facebook where we have an active and vibrant group, and this last year we added groups for both Married Women and spouses of transgender Latter-day Saints. Along with the online community growth, we’ve organized additional events such as the Couples’ Summit and Fall Festival for men and women in our community to come together and build and strengthen friendships, and last year we offered our first Couples’ Retreat that took place aboard Carnival Cruiseline as it sailed to Cabo San Lucas—also a huge success. Our most recent offering was the inauguration of a quarterly fireside series, with the first of which, held in April, packing the chapel.

And finally, North Star’s biggest undertaking so far has been the Voices of Hope Project—a website extension of the book that was published by Deseret Book on 2011. So much good has already been accomplished through this project and we’re only 19 video profiles and 7 essays profiles into our goal of 1,000 voices. The following is one comment we’ve received from Latter-day Saint woman impacted by the project:

“I have been living with same-sex attraction on my own and very privately for decades. I decided long ago that I wanted to live a Christ-centered life and remain fully active in the Church. This meant choosing the spiritual over the temporal, and I was, and still am, happy with that choice. But the journey has been long, at times painful, and solo… Until two weeks ago, I thought I would take this particular trial to my grave. And then I saw someone posted a link to the Voices of Hope website. And that’s when everything—and I mean everything—changed for me.

“Hope, strength, courage, love, comfort, and peace. The testimonies of my fellow brothers and sisters on this website helped me to feel all of these things, which tells me it is good, and from God. These voices of hope have also provided for me a sense of community, which is what I have been missing for so long. And because of how much this has helped and changed me, I know it is now my turn to do this for others. I have begun opening up to friends, and soon I will to my family. Although I still feel somewhat fearful and a little unsure of myself, I know it is the right thing, and I know the Lord will lead the way. He is aware of us, He loves us, and He is with us.

“I am a daughter of God. And I am not alone.”

But this is all just the beginning. There is so much more to do.

Fortifying Our Faith Against Pop Cultural Trends

In addition to efforts to help the general membership of the Church gain an understanding of homosexuality that inspires sufficient empathy and emotional support, we also need to be better educated on these issues as a faith community so we’re spiritually fortified against the tidal wave of worldly philosophies around homosexuality that are increasingly becoming the broader cultural norm, but which are antithetical to the truths of the restored gospel. My belief is that homosexuality is one of the great Abrahamic tests of the last days—and not just for those whose personal attractions challenge their commitments to live the gospel (which, in reality, includes all of us in way or another), but also for our broader Church family whose compassion—if not rooted in firm conviction of the gospel—may become permissive (“sloppy agape” or “greasy grace” as they say in evangelical Christianese) and lead them to question their own spiritual commitments. It seems that an increasing number of individuals are leaving the Church around this issue, or who are trying to change it from within in ways that run counter to the doctrines set forth by those we sustain as prophets, seers and revelators.

It will also affect how the world sees us and responds to our message. As I wrote in the introduction to the book Voices of Hope,

“As cultural battles continue to wage ever more passionately, and as the restored gospel of Jesus Christ continues to go forth to every nation, kindred, tongue, and people, the Church’s teachings regarding homosexuality will increasingly affect how people respond to our message. I suggest that in addition to the continued witness and teachings of the Lord’s prophets and apostles around this issue, there will be an increasing need for ‘a cloud of witnesses’ (Hebrews 12:1), Latter-day Saint men and women who have personally dealt with these issues” (p. 21).

So, what more can we be doing? Each of us who embraces the gospel needs individually to seriously consider God’s call and commission to stand as authentic witnesses of His love and redeeming gospel “at all times and in all things, and in all places that [we] may be in” (Mosiah 18:9). The fulfillment of that commission may look very different for different people, but I would invite each of us to consider the ways in which even our sexuality is tied to our covenant to consecrate our entire self to building God’s kingdom and to spreading the message of the restored gospel.

Owning Our Stories

I personally believe that we can’t stand as authentic witnesses unless we’re willing to own our stories, transcending shame and pride, and be willing to access the courage that will be required to be as vulnerable as such a step will surely be for many. For those of you who haven’t heard of Brené Brown, she’s a professor of social work here in my (current) home state of Texas. Her research and writing focuses on shame and vulnerability, and her two TED addresses, “The Power of Vulnerability” and “Listening to Shame,” are must-sees. One of the reasons I believe her books and talks have gone so viral (aside from the fact that she has a fun and endearing personality) is that they resonate with people on a deep “soul” level. She wrote that “owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

Each of us has a story to tell, and our experiences are often as much for others as they might be for us. Concerning our own divine tutorial, Elder Neal A. Maxwell often talked about how each of us is given a “customized curriculum” of experiences that will help us to develop the Godlike qualities we came here to learn. We came to this world, affected by all its fallenness, to have experiences that would require us to develop qualities and capacities of godliness. The only way we can truly do that is to begin where we are, owning our lives and living out of our hearts, seeking to understand the weakness(es) God gave us to learn humility (Ether 12:27) and understand grace (2 Corinthians 12:7-9). As difficult as this can be when we’re blinded by our own shame and weakness and vulnerability and insecurity, it is required for our growth into wholeness and holiness.

I love the oft-quoted statement by Elder Orson Whitney that “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God… and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven.” The Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross has similarly noted, “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

Elder Maxwell also taught, however, that sometimes our trials or circumstances are not fully for us. There’s a broader, divine meta-narrative at play in the universe that ultimately subsumes all our individual narratives—thus, there’s great need for patience and to realize that at times when things don’t make sense, or when God doesn’t intervene in the way we want him to, a bigger story is playing out and our responsability is to be patient and simply trust His divine orchestration of the kosmos. “Patience,” Elder Maxwell said, “helps us to realize that while we may be ready to move on, having had enough of a particular learning experience, our continuing presence is often a needed part of the learning environment of others” (“Patience,” Ensign, Oct. 1980, 29).

I’ve always loved that sentiment. Sometimes our circumstances or our temporal differences are to help others learn the meaning of love and to develop a greater capacity for charity, which “seeketh not her own” (Moroni 7:45). As Joseph Smith was teaching about baptisms for the dead he made a statement that I believe applies even more broadly: “For we without them cannot be made perfect; neither can they without us be made perfect” (D&C 128:18). The body of Christ will never be whole as long as it’s fragmented, or as parts of the body are hiding in shame or being inauthentic, putting on false fronts in order to appear as something they are not.

Becoming a Zion People Through Greater Authenticity

We will never be made perfect as long as we are cut off from the covenant body of Christ, and the covenant body of Christ will never be made perfect without being blessed by the gifts and strengths—and challenged by the weakness(es) and imperfection(s)—of every member. We cannot develop a capacity for divine love and charity for one another if we are not allowed to fully know one another. Elder Maxwell taught, “The two great commandments are inextricably bound up with each other… For those who think they can keep the second great commandment without keeping the first, it may be enough for now to say that we cannot really love others unless we know who others really are. How can we know their deepest needs without knowing their true identity?” (All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience, p. 70).

When we hide ourselves from people, we in some ways thwart the processes of Atonement by preventing our fellow saints from ever fully learning the essence of the second great commandment. I believe that the more we own our stories and live with greater authenticity the more we gift to others an opportunity to know and to love us; the more we gift to ourselves the empowerment and life and joy born of vulnerability and deeper human intimacy; and the more we gift to God the opportunity to heal and sanctify us, engendering within us spiritual life and holiness. He cannot change anything that we keep tightly and shamefully tucked away in our metaphorical bushes or closets. We must first come out of the bushes and into His light. From there, He, as the author and finisher of our faith, helps us write an ending to our story that is worthy of His promise to make “beauty for ashes” (Isaiah 61:3) and which “eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which [He] hath prepared for them that love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9).

There is a thirst in the human soul to be fully known and fully loved, to be seen and accepted even in our weakness and frailty—our “shadows” to use the language of renowned psychologist Carl Jung. I believe that thirst is something of an echo of what we had in the eternal world we came from, and toward what we hope for in the eternal world we’re preparing for. I think it’s interesting that one of the descriptions of the Celestial world in Joseph Smith’s vision of the kingdoms of glory is that those who are members of the Church of the Firstborn will “see as they are seen, and know as they are known, having received of his fulness and of his grace” (D&C 76:94).

How vulnerable and intimate and truly connecting and joy-full it must be for us to be fully known and seen and embraced by beings who have become love such that this divine capacity defines and exudes from the very substance of our being—even as God is love—and for us to fully know and see and embrace others of the divine family in a deep and binding and intimate communion. In my sense of these, this is the heart and principal constitution of the sociality that Joseph Smith said would be like this one “only it will be coupled with beternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy” (D&C 130:2). And yet, as we seek to establish Zion here and now, and to become pure in heart here and now, it’s our responsibility and blessing to be cultivating and practicing this divine nature of intimate sociality here and now.

I was recently having a conversation with a friend who mentioned the loneliness he feels in even close relationships with some of his friends because he doesn’t feel he can be open with them about the most intimate and vulnerable parts of his life (in this case his SSA). He yearns to be being more open and authentic—for the feeling of being seen and known and loved by them, fully—but he fears their judgments and rejection. And while our fears are often unfounded projections of our own shame, that is not always the case. People can be cruel, or at the very least insensitive, leaving evidence that they cannot be trusted with our hearts. I’m of the conviction, however, that we’ll never truly become a fully Zion people until we collectively learn to truly and fully love, and true love doesn’t exist without knowledge. We can’t fully love someone until we fully know them, and the more we hold pieces of ourselves back from the most important of our relationships around us, the more we rob them of opportunities to learn to love in the way God loves us, and in which He calls us to love others.

I’ve thought a lot about why it is that we are so reticent to be open and authentic with others around us. Humans long for human intimacy and connection, but then in shame and fear we close ourselves off from that for which we most yearn. Daily we seem to be like Adam and Eve who hearkened to the call of Satan to “hide” in the bushes, shameful of what we’ve done or what we perceive ourselves to be, fearing to be fully seen, while God is constantly calling us out of the bushes and into His light.

One of the common catch phrases of the popular LGBT ideology is that those who are same-sex oriented need to be “true to themselves”—and, by implication, that the truest way to do this is to adopt a particular socio-culturally constructed sexual identity and pursue a same-sex relationship. While I do believe that someone can do so from a place of authenticity, sexual orientation is not the central organizing principle of an authentically lived life. I believe that authentically owning our stories, fully acknowledging our humanity and weakness without shame, and living the deepest values of our hearts is. I also believe that is the only way to live an authentic and sustaining faith in Jesus Christ.

Standing As Witnesses

While Christ is the Savior, we all called to be undersaviors and to participate in the work of redemption—and not just our own redemption. Christ took upon Himself flesh so that that He might succor the children of men in all their affliction, and to show us what mastery and transcendence of the flesh looks like—what reconciliation with God looks like. I believe that as God’s covenant people, both here and premortally, if we are to be undersaviors—or small “s” saviors—as talked about in D&C 103:9, we had to be willing to come to earth experiencing all manner of the temptations “such as is common to man” (1 Corinthians 10:13)—and may even have been individually “predesignated,” a term used by Elder Maxwell, to certain of those conditions as part of our covenant role in the salvation, redemption and exaltation of the divine family.

I believe the one of the reasons individuals may experience conflicts related to homosexuality is so that they, like Jesus Christ, could experience in some smaller measure the wide range of human experience common in a fallen, disordered world so that 1) we could develop the empathy prerequisite to succoring others in their afflictions and, in turn, point them to the Succorer/Healer so they can be transformed through His atonement and 2) to figure out how to navigate this most healthily, and transcend it, within the context of faith and covenant so we can then, again, “stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in” (Mosiah 18:9)—leading people to Christ so they can experience the fullness of Eternal Life in Him.

The only way we can do that is by gaining a spiritual witness and conviction of the mission God has given us—a mission that is informed by both our gifts and our weaknesses—and by living true to that mission, and by standing with the prophets in their Divinely appointed commissions. My wife and I were recently reading Third Nephi in our family scripture study. One of the themes that was again impressed upon me by the Spirit was the importance of fidelity to prophetic leadership and guidance. That, and that it doesn’t take long for even God’s faithful to put too much confidence in themselves and for their faith to atrophy into total loss. Much earlier in the Book of Mormon, when Nephi was warned by the Lord to separate himself from his rebellious brothers, he noted that “all those who would go with [him] were those who believed in the warnings and the revelations of God; wherefore, they hearken[ed] unto [his] words” (2 Nephi 5:6).

My own human frailty notwithstanding, I believe in the warnings and revelations of God as mediated through the collective voice of His prophetic witnesses, and I stand firmly with them.

One of the reasons I feel so strongly about the mission of North Star is that there are too few places, whether in cyberspace or elsewhere, where believing Latter-day Saints who fully sustain the prophets can engage in meaningful discussion about the intersections of sexuality, faith and culture. We all must stand as individual witnesses in our respective spheres of influence, but as we come together there is a power in the “cloud of witnesses” (Hebrews 12:1) that we collectively become.

I hope that each of you will join—or stay connected with—our growing euphony of voices and cloud of witnesses, witnessing and testifying of the Savior, the power of His atonement, and of the truthfulness of His church and the prophetic guidance of those who lead it. God needs us as much as we need Him, and the Church and its leaders need us as much as we need them. And only as we embrace that sanctifying relationship can we all truly be made perfect in Christ.

North Star is an all-volunteer organization so it wouldn’t be what it is without the help of many many men and women. Many of those men and women join our Leadership Council, and in honor of all they do and our gratitude to have them as a part of our community we’d like to honor one of them each month in conjunction with our newsletter—particularly those who live away from the Mormon epicenter. This month we’d like to recognize one our newer members, Yefrey Ramon Guerrero Paredes—but we can all just call him Yefrey!

Yefrey was born in Colombia in November of 1984 in a town called Arauca which borders Venezuela. At age one his family moved to Bogotá where they lived until 1988. In 1988 Yefrey’s father was made the Colombian ambassador to Italy so the family then moved to Rome. Yefrey has lived in Rome ever since, except for a 2-year internship he did in New York City after obtaining his law degree.

Yefrey comes from a musical family and his mother teaches music so he became a member of the boys Sistine Chapel Choir and when he was 17 he began to study to become a Catholic priest. After one year of study Yefrey was introduced to the LDS missionaries through a friend of his. He began to take the discussions with the missionaries and described his experience as, “I felt immediately that that [the Book of Mormon] was true and so I decided to be baptized after two weeks.” Yefrey the served a mission in the Milan, Italy Mission. From Yefrey’s example his mother was also converted to the gospel and he was able to baptize her.

From the time Yefrey was in high school he was aware that he experienced SSA and although at that time he hadn’t found any support network until this past year through some searching he found an interview on YouTube that Ty and Danielle Mansfield had done and he “was so impressed with their words and felt the spirit through their testimonies about how it was possible to find peace and joy in this life and it was even possible to get married.” With some additional research Yefrey was able to contact Ty, where he was given information about North Star and he joined quickly.

Yefrey has a firm testimony of the gospel which has been enhanced through his participation in North Star, he said, “North Star is helping me keep in mind the gospel of Jesus Christ and following the commandments is the key to fine peace, serenity and joy. I love Jesus Christ, His restored gospel and the Church. I know the Atonement is a gift given to us that brings us to eternal happiness if we persevere to the end.”

It’s Yefrey’s desire that through his participation in North Star that he can give back to those who stand in need and to be a voice of hope to those who are struggling.

The Women of Worth Conference is one of the first examples of the fulfillment of that mission.

One of the means created to accomplish this is North Star’s Online Discussion Groups, one of which is specifically for spouses of men and women who experience same-sex attraction. As the women of the Spouses group discussed the dearth of helpful resources for spouses, they decided to create their own. Together, they discussed and planned and made the choice to be proactive in taking care of their own needs as wives and as women, volunteering to share their own experiences as presenters, as well as inviting professionals who have spent much of their careers assisting individuals and couples with similar stories.

Having just finished up the Sixth Annual Conference on April 19-20 of this year, this 4-part episide of the Voices Podcast features the remarkable work of these women. We’ll release each part one at a time.

We hope you enjoy this episode of the North Star Voices Podcast. Please share your feedback below!

Twenty years ago, Laurie Campbell, a member of North Star’s Executive Committee and one of the inaugural participants in the Voices of Hope Project, used the pen name Erin Eldridge to write a book about her experiences with same-sex attraction and her LDS (Mormon) faith entitled Born That Way? A True Story of Overcoming Same-Sex Attraction with Insights for Friends, Families, and Leaders (Deseret Book, 1994).

Now, Reborn That Way: The True Story of One Woman, One Faith, and Countless Miracles (North Star Harbinger, 2013) updates her journey, including her LDS temple marriage and her three children.

Laurie Campbell was born a Mormon in Las Vegas in the 1960s, back when mobs rule but a family community sprouts up. She suffers sexual abuse and struggles with substance abuse as well as the conflict between her same-sex attractions and her LDS testimony. Add to that a host of other experiences that are equally compelling and faith-promoting. After choosing to sacrifice lesbian relationships for her religious convictions, she then falls in love with and marries a man, they have 3 children together, and they are still married 20 years later. If you experience any number of challenges to your faith, you’ll find this story to be helpful, inspirational, and tough to put down.

Laurie received her Bachelor of Fine Arts degree from the Art Center College of Design in Pasadena, California. She has worked as a copywriter in advertising ever since. During that time, she has also done volunteer work counseling Latter-day Saints who experience same-sex attraction. More recently, she received her Master of Science degree in Community Mental Health Counseling, which has helped in her volunteer counseling work as well as her role as a wife and mother.

Reborn That Way can be purchased in both hardcopy and ebook formats:

Washington, D.C. — March 26, 2013 — North Star International today launched a new website featuring profiles and information about faithful members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints affected by same-sex attraction. The website, LDSVoicesofHope.org, offers a look into the lives of Mormons who open up about their own experiences or the experiences of family members.

The project is a dynamic extension of the book by noted author and marriage and family therapist Ty Mansfield, Voices of Hope: Latter-day Saint Perspectives on Same-Gender Attraction (Deseret Book, 2011), which contains an array of inspirational messages from men and women who have personal experience with the issue of same-sex attraction. Based on the book’s continuing success and resulting feedback, it became obvious to Mansfield that there were many more stories to be told, and thus sought a vehicle through which to share them.

“What a difference from the day when, as a young BYU student, I had difficulty finding anyone faithfully living with this experience,” Mansfield said. “There are many, many other stories out there that need to be told, and there is a growing number of people desirous and ready to share them.”

Voice(s) of Hope has a singular focus on assisting those individuals who desire to live in harmony with the teachings and values of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints regarding marriage and sexual expression. Its power stems from the collection of simple, heart-felt video testimonies of diverse men and women who share their stories of how they have reconciled their homosexuality with the gospel and to ultimately come to a place of happiness and peace. Among the profiles are single men and women of all ages, married couples of all ages, backgrounds, professions, ethnicities and Church assignments including newly returned missionaries, bishops and stake presidents. Participants include converts to the faith and those raised in the faith, as well as some who have left the Church and later returned and others who have never acted sexually on their attractions.

While the site’s initial launch features 17 interviews, each one including edited highlight and full-length interviews for those interested in the entire story, and 7 essays, video and written essays will be added weekly to the site until the project’s goal of 1,000 participant contributions has been reached.

“For many Church members who experience same-sex attraction, society has reinforced the belief that there were only two viewpoints available: that same-sex attraction is something to be ashamed of and kept a secret, or that individuals are to adopt a gay identity and purse a same-sex relationship, leading to a lifestyle in conflict with the doctrines and values of the Church,” said North Star vice president and project director Kerry Harding. “Voice(s) of Hope seeks to more effectively illustrate that other options consistent with Church teachings are available to those who desire them. There are hundreds, if not thousands of men and women who have discovered a path in the faith that brings them happiness and peace. The site’s collective message isn’t so much, ‘This is what you should do’ as it is simply, ‘This is what has worked for me.’”

North Star International is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization dedicated to building community for Latter-day Saints dealing with issues surrounding homosexual attraction who desire to live in harmony with the teachings of Jesus Christ and the doctrines and values of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The purpose of North Star is to be a spiritually uplifting resource for individuals and families dealing with the complex issue of same-sex attraction. It is also to empower individuals to help educate themselves, their family, friends, and Church leaders as they strive to become integrated more fully and lovingly into the LDS community.

As I worked my way deeper into the article, my heart started to beat really fast. Much of this man’s story was my story—but no one knew it. How could this man know so much of my story? I felt an immediate connection with the author, a man named Ty Mansfield. Though I had a ton of work to do, all of it was forgotten as I went to Google this man and see what I could learn.

To my surprise there were over two million hits for someone who, before that day, I had never heard of in my life. One of those links led me to the website for Deseret Book where I discovered that he had written a book called Voices of Hope: Latter-day Saint Perspectives on Same-Gender Attraction. I starting reading the reader reviews which went on for pages. I was glued to the screen until I had read them all. Near the very end of the reviews, written not long after the book was first published, I came upon this entry:

“As a 24 year-old who struggles with SSA personally, I know firsthand the pain, loneliness, self-hatred, and feelings of inadequacy that come with this trial. After reading Voices of Hope, I now know that I’m not alone in this. Ty has truly been guided and directed in compiling this masterpiece that allows new venues of hope, peace, self-love, and competency. For the first time in my life deep, deep wounds are starting to heal. Although I know it’s just the beginning, and many, if not most, of my feelings of anger and inadequacy reside, it was this novel that has sprung me on the road to recovery. A sense of worth and purpose, although still a seed, has finally been instilled in my being, and for the first time, I have heard a Voice of Hope.”

It was signed by a young man at a nearby university whose name I recognized but wasn’t sure if it was same person or simply another person with the same name. Through Facebook, I reached out to him with the following message, including the above referenced quote in its entirety:

“Taking a big leap here, would it be correct to assume this post was from you? If not, never mind the rest of this message. If so, let me say that reading it literally brought tears of sadness to my eyes. To think that, even for a second, someone who appears to be as kind, thoughtful, funny and a great brother as you do would ever feel ‘the pain, loneliness, self-hatred, and feelings of inadequacy that come with this trial’ because of others is tragic. I hope that, as you continue along your life’s path, you will find a niche that brings you the same level of happiness, fit and fulfillment that Ty has found, regardless of your own personal circumstances.”

It took him three days to respond. I remember that, as a member of a bishopric at the time, I was actually sitting on the stand during sacrament meeting when I saw the notification on my phone that his message had come in. As he poured out his heart to me, I saw his pain, his shame, and his loneliness. For most of his life, he had kept it all bottled up inside him until he was faced with one of two choices—either talk about it or end his life. As I felt his anguish, the Spirit prompted me to respond back, unloading the burdens of my own heart that had been locked up for decades in a jumbled stream-of-consciousness tale that began:

“I wondered at the time, if you DID write the review I asked about, would it change how I felt about you? Your reply did indeed change that. I went from casual interest because of shared connections to this overwhelming feeling of love that I can’t explain. Odd, I know. Maybe it was because the conversation went straight from superficial chatter to you trusting me with your innermost personal thoughts. Now, I am going to trust YOU with mine…”

With that as an introduction, I spent the rest of the night pouring out my entire story to him in a private Facebook message. I eventually hit “Reply” and fell into a fitful sleep, exhausted. The next morning, I awoke early, nervous about what his response would be.

“What was I thinking?” I wondered to myself. I had kept this all a secret for almost four decades and I had just blurted it out to someone I hardly even knew. But, on the other hand, I felt this euphoric lightness—as if finally relieving myself of this secret burden after all these years had somehow caused a physical transformation. I finally felt authentic.

I shared my story with Ty and, after that, the dialogue between us continued. Becoming truly authentic led to an increased desire to share the story of my journey with others. As Ty and I talked about the competing emotions of desire and fear surrounding that effort, especially given my visibility in both religious and professional worlds, he likened the situation to the Savior beckoning to Peter to step out of the boat and come to him on the waves of a turbulent sea and then remarked, “The only thing that will keep you walking on water is to first step out on the water only to see and experience that a miracle is happening as you walk forward. I would suggest that the same is true for standing out and being a voice of hope. The only thing that builds faith is faith.”

Not long after that, I felt compelled that, if the original book had motivated me to share my story with others in the hope that it would help others, perhaps there were others like me around the country—or around the world for whom Voices of Hope had inspired a similar desire—but there wasn’t then available a good avenue for that to happen.

In the summer of 2012, I approached Ty with the idea of creating a website, an ever-expanding repository where people could not only read inspirational stories similar to those found in the book, but could watch people literally telling their story in their own words. Thinking that he would think I was crazy, I approached him with the concept of a Voice(s) of Hope website. Enthusiastically, he remarked that such an effort had always been his dream, but that a lack of resources had, to that point, prevented such an effort from coming to fruition. I told him that I felt that this project was something that I had been called to do at this point in my life and that not only would I take the lead in getting it started, but would commit the necessary financial resources to get the site up and running, after which we would solicit donations to help keep the project going.

The first step was to identify and register the domain name, which was later expanded to include a number of similar names. Having had literally no experience producing a project of this kind, I set out to identify a “video guy” that could oversee filming the first round of interviews. After reviewing the creative portfolios of more than 50 teams, Ty offered that his brother-in-law, Adam Sanders, was an Emmy-nominated videographer and, though he was reluctant to use family, suggested I take a look at his work and consider him as one of the candidates in the mix. After reviewing his work, I called him and we talked extensively about the project—how we wanted it to feel, what we wanted it to look like and how limited our budget was for this first phase. As odd as this may sound, during the hour-long conversation with Adam, I felt a spiritual confirmation that said clearly, “This is your guy.”

The first shoot, held at a beautiful home in Murray, Utah, featured 10 individuals and couples. The Spirit was overwhelming. In addition to feeling our fire for the project fueled, we learned many logistical lessons that we would later incorporate into subsequent shoots to improve the process, the product and the experience for all involved. In spite of all the preparations, checklists and plans, what we did not anticipate was the spiritual feeling of the shoots themselves. For many of the participants, this was the first time they had ever publicly recounted the story of their entire journey and it was an emotional experience. There were times when the entire production team was crying. As subsequent shoots got underway, we learned that production team prayer and occasionally giving a requested priesthood blessing to a participant brought a sense of calmness and clarity to each shoot and became the standard practice.

Our production team expanded to include Martin Palmer as sound technician, as well as Reo Garn, better known for his YouTube channel videos as “That Mormon Boy”; Kevin Randall, a former TV news anchor and accomplished video producer employed by the Church; and North Star Leadership Council member, Josh Searle. In the role of Project Manager, Stephan Mueller maintained the database of tasks, deadlines, benchmarks, keeping the entire project team on track.

Later, after reviewing the work of more than 120 web designers, we would pick Canadian-based Juan Rodriguez, an iPad App developer, who had served as a missionary with me in Washington DC and who had been designing websites since he was 10. His enthusiasm for the subject matter and his collaborative approach secured the slot over those with more sophisticated portfolios and track records.

Throughout this project, we felt the Lord’s continued confirmation as He continued to provide volunteers to handle a multitude of tasks that had been hereto unforeseen. Laura Campbell edited essays. Adam Howell, Reed Willmore, Tyler Smith, and Kylee Shields completed the arduous task of transcribing all of the videos for the benefit of those who are hearing impaired. Luis Moreno interviewed the project’s participants and created a special episode of the North Star podcast, “Behind the Voices.” Later, we would add accomplished video producers Neil Bryce and Laron Wilson to the production team. Deserving special recognition is Ty’s wife, Danielle Mansfield, who sacrificed time with her husband so he could attend to various project demands.

As the project’s team expanded in scope and talent, the one constant that continued from the beginning was the synergistic partnership between Ty Mansfield and me. An intensely personal project for both of us, we held a shared vision not only of how people would feel when they visited this site, but that everything about it be professional in every way. In the end, there is not a single component of how this project looks and functions that wasn’t discussed, analyzed and tweaked in numerous ways to ensure that both of us were equally happy with the end product. Ultimately, what you see when you look at this site is a three-way partnership between me, Ty and the Lord because, through it all, we truly felt His hand guiding us in everything that we did. Before the site was even finished, we felt its reach and influence already extending far beyond our wildest dreams as a trusted resource within the LDS community.

This launch is but a start and, to paraphrase Robert Frost, “We have miles to go before we sleep.” We have 21 more shoots already completed and ready to edit with many more who have expressed interest in participating in future shoots—and, when this site becomes public, we anticipate hundreds more who will join our “cloud of witnesses” (Hebrews 12:1). To achieve this project’s ambitious goals for good will require potentially hundreds of thousands of dollars. We hope that our efforts to date will earn your support of and investment in this important initiative—whatever it is you can afford.

In spite of whether you feel called to financially contribute to this effort or not, we need your help in publicizing the availability of this site as an important contributor to the on-going dialogue regarding same-sex attraction. We encourage you to share it with friends, family and ward members; to post links to the site on your Facebook page and other social media outlets; to use it as a teaching tool in your quorum and auxiliary meetings as a way to increase tolerance and understanding within the Church and, most importantly, as a resource to individuals you might be aware of who are grappling with how to reconcile faith and feelings. This site will only achieve its ultimate potential if its reach exponentially expands. You never know who is privately trying to find answers to their own intersection of same-sex attraction and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

As the director of this project, I want to thank everyone involved for their dedication, passion, and consecration of their time and talents to ensure the project exceeded our original expectations in every way. I have never loved a group of people more than I have grown to love you from this experience. In the words from beloved Broadway musical, Wicked, “Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.”

In this video, Reo addresses 12 common myths and misconceptions about what The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches about homosexuality—including myths and distortions about practices of “aversion therapy” purportedly once practiced by “the Church” (see list of references and resources below):

See some of his listed resources for additional questions about homosexuality and Mormonism, including:

In the past when I would read about King Lamoni’s father’s conversion (see Alma 22), where he tells the Lord that he would be willing to give away all his sins to know Him, I would say to myself, “Well of course he would. Who wouldn’t?” I couldn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t be willing to give away all his sins, after all, wasn’t that our goal? Unfortunately, I now understand why someone might not want or be willing to give away all their sins. I became comfortable and quite enjoyed some of my sins. The items I carried in my computer bag were indulgences that, while spiritually lethal, brought some temporary escape and relief from my problems.

Several months went by when I realized that I still had the substance and the thumb drive. Finally, I had become sufficiently humble and sincere enough in my desire to follow the Savior that I deleted the porn and threw away the substance. I wondered why it took me so long. Why wasn’t I, like King Lamoni, willing to give away all my sins to know God? The answer is because I wasn’t spiritually fit. I wasn’t fully committed to the path of discipleship, nor truly converted to the gospel, and hadn’t acknowledged the full potential of the atonement of our Savior. It took me a long time, through prayer, gospel study, church and temple attendance, and service to reach a point that my spirit was stronger than my physical desires.

Thanks to the cleansing power of the Atonement, I don’t feel shame for waiting so long, or for telling you of my sins. I feel gratitude to my Savior and my Eternal Father for Their love and patience with me. Am I willing now to give away all my sins? Yes, I am. This doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with addictions or make foolish mistakes. It means that I want to be free of sin, that I trust I can be free of sin because of Christ’s sacrifice, and that I am willing to do my part by repenting and following Him.

Other sins we might struggle to give away might be more intangible such as holding grudges, not forgiving, judging others, lying, mistreating others, and a host of other things we engage in that keep the Spirit from being fully present in our lives.

I pray that as we continue to purge our lives of sin and seek to follow our Savior, the Spirit will make us aware of sins that we yet need to shed. I pray that we will always willingly lay them on the alter, and walk away toward a more fulfilling and happy life as true disciples of Jesus Christ. I pray that each of us will be willing, as was King Lamoni’s father, to give away all our sins to truly know our God.

Of his involvement in North Star, Harding says, “After getting to the point where I can honestly say that I have the life I always wanted, I feel that I have a responsibility to help those who are still trying to find their way along the journey as they try to reconcile the issues surrounding same-sex attraction with their membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

“As a convert,” Harding continues, “I believe that everything we need to have a happy, rewarding life is found in living a life in harmony with the Gospel. Through my involvement in the Voices of Hope project, I have had the chance to meet people with some amazing stories of faith and resilience in overcoming numerous obstacles that have threatened to distract them from or thwart their progress. I believe that North Star has a unique mission to fill in the dialogue surrounding homosexuality and the Church and I look forward to contributing to my time and talents to helping its leaders continue to strengthen its scope and reach, one person at a time.”

Read Kerry’s bio listed here.

The flyer described the first panel session as follows:

“The panel will explore current thinking about sexual orientation change therapy, and the use of labels such as ‘gay’ and ‘lesbian.’ Participants include those who have experienced same-sex attraction—Laurie Campbell, Ty Mansfield, David Matheson, and Josh Weed (all of whom are also practicing therapists)—along with Dr. Shirley E. Cox and Dr. Jeffrey Robinson.”

The second panel was described as follows:

“Those who have personal experience with same-sex attraction and several of their spouses will provide insights from their own lives and answer questions from the audience.”