North Star sponsors a variety of private Facebook groups intended to provide a confidential, safe, and moderated forum in which you can offer and receive support in your efforts to faithfully and healthfully live the gospel of Jesus Christ.

As interest, need, and activity level evolve, these groups are subject to change. If there is a particular demographic for which you feel a group would be beneficial, please let us know. If there is sufficient interest, we will consider creating such a group.

Commitments & Terms

You will be asked to agree to several commitments for the group(s) you have requested to join. Additional information may be presented to you as well. This is critical for you to understand as a member of these communities. It is important to maintain a safe, loving, helpful atmosphere, hence the requested commitments.

“I say unto you, be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine.” D&C 38:27

The purpose of the North Star Gender Identity Support Community is to provide a place of community and support specifically rooted in the gospel of Jesus Christ for individuals who experience gender variance or gender identity incongruence, as well as their family members and friends.

There is a difference between a social community and a support community. This North Star group’s primary purpose is to provide a place of support. Since this group is composed of a large variety of individuals with very different life paths and different views of how to live with gender variance or gender identity incongruence, a large variety of different opinions and viewpoints are represented. In order to create a community where everyone is safe it is necessary to foster dialogue that encourages universal support.

In an effort to foster universal support, posts should always reflect this ideal. Types of posts that reflect this idea of fostering support, are posts that:

• Express thankfulness;
• Ask for help; and/or
• Ask a question.

Always remember that first and foremost this group is gospel oriented, every post should be centered in or foster support for the gospel of Jesus Christ.

All posts will be carefully moderated and any posts that are not fostering an environment of support or not focused on the gospel will be removed. North Star has no official position detailing how individuals should live with gender variance or gender identity incongruence. In harmony with Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s counsel that if you are “confused with gender identity… Whatever other steps you may need to take to resolve these concerns, come first to the gospel of Jesus Christ” (“Broken Things to Mend,” Ensign, May 2006), we would encourage individuals to prayerfully and patiently seek for individual answers. We each have been given agency and every individual is free to make their own choices. Each choice carries its own set of difficulties and consequences. The purpose of this community is to help individuals come closer to Christ no matter where they are at in their own personal journey. Remember, official Church doctrine and policy regarding how to live with gender variance or gender identity incongruence is largely undefined, and group members should be extremely careful to not make generalized declarations regarding Church doctrines or policies that have not been expressly taught by Church leaders.

By joining the North Star Gender Identity Support Community Facebook Group, you are certifying that:

- you are at least 18 years old

- your intention is to receive and/or give support for living the principles of Jesus Christ,
while striving to better understand and respond to gender variance or gender dysphoria, or whether you are a spouse, parent, family member or other friend.

Pseudonyms may not be used on Facebook.

We support adherence to Facebook’s policy and

- Elder Bednar’s encouragement of greater authenticity and transparency in online communications. Non-legal, preferred names are acceptable but you must use your legal last name. For individuals who experience gender dysphoria or who identify as transgender, profile pictures presenting in your preferred gender are acceptable, but any profile picture must be of you.

Anyone who joins under false pretenses will be removed.

I commit to affirm the doctrines and teachings of the Church.

North Star wholly supports the doctrines and teachings of the Church related to the appropriate bounds of romantic and sexual expression...

Specifically that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children,” and that “God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife”

We also affirm the teaching of modern prophets that “Each [person] is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and…[that] gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”).

Posting content or arguments that undermine Church doctrines and teachings—particularly those concerning the sacred and eternal nature of sexuality, gender, marriage, and the family—or dissuade members from keeping covenants is strictly prohibited.

I commit to sensitivity regarding Church teachings on transition.

Given that Church leaders and official materials have said very little regarding gender variance or gender identity incongruence, other than some policies and possible consequences as the result of “elective transsexual surgery,” please be careful about stating what the “Church position” is. This issue is far too nuanced for official declarations.

North Star adopts the same policy stated in the Church Handbook of Instruction (CHI) and counsels against “elective transsexual operations.” However, having such an operation in no way excludes you from participation in North Star events and online resources.

Individuals who have chosen to transition in some way (socially, etc.) may not post broad declarations that transition is the only way to resolve gender dysphoria, nor incentivize transition among others.

In the same manner, individuals who have chosen not to transition may not post broad declarations that transition is a sin, that any form of transition is unacceptable, or that no one should act in any way upon these feelings of gender incongruence.

We honor the agency of the individual to seek their own personal revelation while considering their own safety and health. We encourage you to seek counsel of your family members and spouses, ecclesiastical leaders and, if needed, mental health professionals.

I commit to maintain confidences.

You will keep all content, names, and personal information strictly confidential...

And obtain permission before forwarding, discussing, or summarizing messages here with anyone who is not a member of this specific discussion group, including spouses or other family members.

For family members, when discussing your situation or experiences, please be mindful of the stated desire for privacy and anonymity of those loved ones for whom you wish to be a support. Many men and women who experience gender dysphoria also experience high levels of anxiety about their feelings being known to others. As such, we encourage sensitivity to those feelings and to maintain the level of confidentiality and anonymity for your loved ones that they wish to maintain for themselves.

Be mindful of confidences when posting the same message across multiple groups (cross-posting).

I commit to adhere to the norms of online etiquette.

Subject Headings, Memes and Profile Pics: As a courtesy for those viewing email in a public forum, please refrain from using transgender-oriented memes.

ALL CAPS is generally viewed as yelling. Use sparingly.

Respect other people’s time. When you post to a discussion group, avoid posting frivolous content. While posts that foster community can be appropriate, please avoid light-minded posts that distract from others’ need/requests for support.

Personal pictures should largely be avoided, unless they foster ideas of community and gospel oriented support. Since many individuals can find personal photos triggering we would encourage group members to post personal pictures sparingly. Photos from North Star events (conference, firesides, Fast & Temple Day gatherings, etc.) are encouraged.

Encourage Discussion: Create posts that encourage discussion. Social updates do not promote discussion. Always use posts to encourage and facilitate the idea of support.

I commit to take responsibility for my own well being and be considerate of the group.

This group is not a replacement for personal therapy nor is it a journal or weblog. If you are in a place of trauma in your life or marriage, please seek out professional help.

Posting vague requests for support or “cries” for help or rescuing can cause the group to feel powerless. Please be specific with your requests and clearly focus your requests on how folks might meet your needs.

Please speak only for yourself and only about your own experience, feelings, and beliefs using “I-statements” wherever possible; never use “you should” statements. Avoid giving unsolicited advice.

This is not a place for sarcasm, shaming, name calling, blame/fault finding, demands/threats, or correcting others. Leave correction and conflict resolution to the moderation team.

Focus on the Gospel: All posts should reflect the central importance of the gospel of Jesus Christ to this group. Posts not reflecting this importance will be removed.

I commit to be sensitive to others’ feelings and be open to diverse experiences.

For this group to remain a safe place for everyone, especially those who are new to this community, we need to be kind to one another.

We expect that all who post messages will do so with an attitude of love and friendship. Heartfelt discussion is encouraged. Disagreement, debate, and bantering are welcome, so long as they remain respectful and friendly. Avoid contention, insults, and unkind criticism. Outside of a few clear, gospel-centered values, many viewpoints and opinions are represented here; so, you cannot expect or insist that everyone will automatically share yours.

If you disagree with a post, you have two options: ignore it or reply with your own experiences without diminishing others feelings or experiences. Ask yourself, “What is it like to be on the other side of me?” Remember that there is a real person on the other end of whatever you put out there.

Some members of this group may struggle with their testimonies or with homosexual behavior; please be willing to offer support to strengthen their resolve to live the gospel.

Approach differences with an open mind, kindness, and humility and allow each individual the privilege of a safe environment to seek support to live the principles of the gospel.

I commit to support North Star’s mission.

Posting events and resources

You may only post or advertise groups, activities, internet sites, or publications whose ideals or content are in harmony with the core values and teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ—whether from secular or religious sources.

Events or resources referenced must be explicitly and exclusively supportive of the values and behavioral standards of the Church.

All events or resources must be approved by a moderator before posting. Please give the moderators plenty of time for review.

Political Advocacy

While North Star supports the doctrines and teachings of the Church relative to marriage, family, and the appropriate bounds of sexuality, we are not a political advocacy organization and posts of this nature are out of line with the mission of North Star and may not be posted.

Moderators may remove any post at any time if found to conflict with North Star’s mission and purpose. When in doubt ask a moderator first.