Married Mens Facebook Group

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North Star sponsors a variety of private Facebook groups intended to provide a confidential, safe, and moderated forum in which you can offer and receive support in your efforts to faithfully and healthfully live the gospel of Jesus Christ.
As interest, need, and activity level evolve, these groups are subject to change. If there is a particular demographic for which you feel a group would be beneficial, please let us know. If there is sufficient interest, we will consider creating such a group.

Commitments & Terms

You will be asked to agree to several commitments for the group(s) you have requested to join. Additional information may be presented to you as well. This is critical for you to understand as a member of this community. It is important to maintain a safe, loving, helpful atmosphere, hence the requested commitments.

COMMITMENT OF MEMBERSHIP #1

Married Men’s Facebook Group

North Star Married Men is a Secret Facebook group for men who are married to women and who experience same-sex attraction or gender dysphoria. (For those husbands and wives that wish to join together as a couple, please join the Married Couples Facebook Group).  The purpose of this group is to provide an open and supportive forum for married men to encourage, strengthen, and learn from one another..

By joining the North Star Men Facebook group, you are certifying that:

  • you are at least 18 years old
  • your intention is to receive and/or give support for living the principles of Jesus Christ, as you strive to better understand and respond to the experience of same-sex attraction or gender dysphoria.

Anyone who joins under false pretenses will be removed.

COMMITMENT OF MEMBERSHIP #2

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I commit to affirm the doctrines and teachings of the Church.

North Star wholly supports the doctrines and teachings of the Church related to the appropriate bounds of romantic and sexual expression…

Specifically that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children,” and that “God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife”

We also affirm the teaching of modern prophets that “Each [person] is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and…[that] gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”).

Posting content or arguments that undermine Church doctrines and teachings—particularly those concerning the sacred and eternal nature of sexuality, gender, marriage, and the family—or dissuade members from keeping covenants is strictly prohibited.

COMMITMENT OF MEMBERSHIP #3

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I commit to maintain confidences.

You will keep all content, names, and personal information strictly confidential…

And obtain permission before forwarding, discussing, or summarizing messages here with anyone who is not a member of this specific discussion group, including spouses or other family members.

For family members, when discussing your situation or experiences, please be mindful of the stated desire for privacy and anonymity of those loved ones for whom you wish to be a support. Many men and women who experience same-sex attraction or gender dysphoria also experience high levels of anxiety about their feelings being known to others. As such, we encourage sensitivity to those feelings and to maintain the level of confidentiality and anonymity for your loved ones that they wish to maintain for themselves.

Be mindful of confidences when posting the same message across multiple groups (cross-posting).

COMMITMENT OF MEMBERSHIP #4

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I commit to appropriate behavior in both public and private.

Sexually explicit materials are not allowed, such as graphic descriptions of sexual experiences, nude or erotic images, or coarse, vulgar, or offensive language.

Any private acting out between people who have met through this group or at any event advertised through this group will be grounds for removal.

You must notify group moderators immediately if approached by any current or former group member for any inappropriate behavior, which includes any sexually-based behavior or threatening/violent behavior or language. Please be prepared to forward the conversation to the moderator word for word if possible. Failure to disclose knowledge of such activities may be grounds for removal from this group.

These commitments apply to posts and comments made openly to the group and in private messaging

COMMITMENT OF MEMBERSHIP #5

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I commit to adhere to the norms of online etiquette.

Subject Headings: As a courtesy for those viewing email in a public forum, please refrain from using sexually- or homosexually-related words in the subject headings.

ALL CAPS is generally viewed as yelling. Use sparingly.

Respect other people’s time. When you post to a discussion group, avoid posting frivolous content. While posts that foster community can be appropriate, please avoid light-minded posts that distract from others’ need/requests for support.

This is NOT just a group for men who experience SSA. While our Facebook groups tend to have many more men who experience SSA in them, there are women, those who experience gender dysphoria, male and female spouses, and fathers and mothers and other friends also present.

If you happen to be in the majority demographic as a man who experiences SSA, please remember that this group is made up of many different demographics and that some subjects may be better discussed in our email groups that are specific to men. In short, unless there is a topic you want your mom or someone else’s mom reading, don’t post it.

Review your message before you hit send. Although this is a confidential environment, once something has been posted, there is no way to retract it, so think carefully about the content of your message. Also, grammar and spelling errors make it difficult for your audience to read, so please re-read your messages before posting them.

COMMITMENT OF MEMBERSHIP #6

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I commit to take responsibility for my own well being and be considerate of the group.

This group is not a replacement for personal therapy nor is it a journal or weblog. If you are in a place of trauma in your life or marriage, please seek out professional help.

Posting vague requests for support or “cries” for help or rescuing can cause the group to feel powerless. Please be specific with your requests and clearly focus your requests on how folks might meet your needs.

Please speak only for yourself and only about your own experience, feelings, and beliefs using “I-statements” wherever possible; never use “you should” statements. Avoid giving unsolicited advice.

This is not a place for sarcasm, shaming, name calling, blame/fault finding, demands/threats, or correcting others. Leave correction and conflict resolution to the moderation team.

Focus on the Gospel: All posts should reflect the central importance of the gospel of Jesus Christ to this group. Posts not reflecting this importance will be removed.

COMMITMENT OF MEMBERSHIP #7

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I commit to be sensitive to others’ feelings and be open to diverse experiences.

For this group to remain a safe place for everyone, especially those who are new to this community, we need to be kind to one another.

We expect that all who post messages will do so with an attitude of love and friendship. Heartfelt discussion is encouraged. Disagreement, debate, and bantering are welcome, so long as they remain respectful and friendly. Avoid contention, insults, and unkind criticism. Outside of a few clear, gospel-centered values, many viewpoints and opinions are represented here; so, you cannot expect or insist that everyone will automatically share yours.

If you disagree with a post, you have two options: ignore it or reply with your own experiences without diminishing others feelings or experiences. Ask yourself, “What is it like to be on the other side of me?” Remember that there is a real person on the other end of whatever you put out there.

Some members of this group may struggle with their testimonies or with homosexual behavior; please be willing to offer support to strengthen their resolve to live the gospel.

Approach differences with an open mind, kindness, and humility and allow each individual the privilege of a safe environment to seek support to live the principles of the gospel.

COMMITMENT OF MEMBERSHIP #8

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I commit to support North Star’s mission.

Posting events and resources

You may only post or advertise groups, activities, internet sites, or publications whose ideals or content are in harmony with the core values and teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ—whether from secular or religious sources.

Events or resources referenced must be explicitly and exclusively supportive of the values and behavioral standards of the Church.

All events or resources must be approved by a moderator before posting. Please give the moderators plenty of time for review.

Political Advocacy

While North Star supports the doctrines and teachings of the Church relative to marriage, family, and the appropriate bounds of sexuality, we are not a political advocacy organization and posts of this nature are out of line with the mission of North Star and may not be posted.

Moderators may remove any post at any time if found to conflict with North Star’s mission and purpose. When in doubt ask a moderator first.

Community Contact Information

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You are now ready to enroll as a member of the North Star Facebook Groups.

Confidentiality of Personal Information

All information you provide below is for moderator reference only and will be kept strictly confidential.

These are Private Facebook groups

This means that unless you are a member of this group, you cannot see any posts, who is or is not a member of this group, or see that the group itself even exists. Joining this group, or posts that are made in the group do not appear on your wall nor on the news feed of anyone who is not already a member. We recognize how important your privacy and confidentiality are as you begin to address these issues and as you make connections with others in the North Star community.

Anonymity

Given the personal nature of Facebook and the amount of vulnerability involved, to join any of our Facebook groups it is required that you use your real name and identity. Profiles set up under pseudonyms are NOT allowed in our Facebook groups.

If anonymity is a concern for you, pseudonyms are allowed in our Email Groups.

You have requested membership for the following group(s):

You are now ready to enroll as a member of the North Star Married Men’s Facebook Group.

For example: some people include family or home situation, whether or not others know about their situations, etc.
Upon submitting your application, you will be signed up to receive a short series of messages that will help you make the best of your online community experience.

 

Please note! After the request is submitted, please allow 3-5 days for it to be processed!